Criticism

Babylon 5: The Grand Vision

/ G. Scott Huggins / 1 Comment

I find myself today remembering one of my formative influences as a young writer, and that is Babylon 5, which I think will always be one of my great favorite television series.

Babylon 5 was groundbreaking in so many ways, and I could write all day about them, but I don’t have that kind of time, so I’m just going to mention a few of them.

Babylon 5 was the first science-fiction series that attempted the grand story arc, getting through not one, but two huge, if related, plotlines: The Shadow War and the Earth Alliance Civil War. The only show I can think of that even attempted this previously was Battlestar Galactica, but there never seemed to be any real progress in the Galactica’s quest for Earth.

Babylon 5 took chances with its characters, portraying people who began as little people in their assigned positions growing plausibly into great men and women. We saw John Sheridan become head of state. We saw G’Kar and Delenn become prophets. We saw Londo become a monstrous dictator and war criminal, and then take the long, backsliding road to redemption. In this I feel that it was superior to its contemporary, Star Trek, because the hallmark of Star Trek was that the characters never changed. Change, such as Kirk’s promotion to Admiral, or Riker’s captaincy, was seen as a bad thing.

Babylon 5 portrayed a universe larger than could be imagined, like Star Trek before it, but in my opinion, did a better job than Star Trek, because while Star Trek kept us centered on the Enterprise, so that the uncommon became commonplace, Babylon 5 brought the impact of that larger universe home to all those involved. There was no safe place to hide from the Shadows and the Vorlons, and everything was riding on the line for the characters.

I would dearly love to see Babylon 5 re-imagined, or perhaps rebooted, but I am not sure that such a cast or such a vision could ever be reassembled. It saddens me, though, that somehow Babylon 5 has not received the accolades that I feel it earned.

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 9 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: An awesome ending to an awesome show. I’m really not sure what to say about it that wasn’t great. In some ways, it reminded me of The Lord Of The Rings, with El and Hopper going into the Gate to seal it while the rest of the gang takes on the role of Aragorn and company by distracting the evil forces with various forms of fire. And unlike the previous season, we are not left with much of a cliffhanger.

The Bad: If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a natural quibbler, so before reading this, understand that none of this makes the show less than good. It irritated me from the start that no one tried heat on Will before this. As Joyce says, why were they giving it what it wanted for so long? Also, I wish the tension between Max and El had been more resolved in a more concrete fashion. That just felt as though it was left hanging.
One thing I meant to say in a previous post and forgot to, about Max and her douchebag older brother:

The tension that had been building around their origin and appearance was both weirdly heightened and killed by the appearance of their parents. Brother’s father had the weird effect of making me want to cheer him on by smacking around his son who desperately needed a smacking around, but also to want to shoot him because the odds are that he’s the reason his son is such a douche in the first place. We still don’t know exactly why Brother blames Max for the move from California, and until seeing the parents arrive, I thought these two were actually on their own. I leave it to the writers to wind this up in Season 3, but for now it feels flat.

And oh, gods, please PLEASE don’t really drag us through the stomach-twisting awfulness of an affair between douchey Brother and Mike and Nancy’s mom. Just barf.

Further Questions: Is Brenner alive? How and what is he doing? Obviously, the Thing in the Upside Down s still very much alive and wanting to get back to our world. Can it without some sort of assistance? We’ve met Eleven and Eight, which means there are potentially at least nine other Gifted we could encounter. Will we ever?
And is Steve really okay with where things ended up, or is he plotting something in that mind of his…

Final Thoughts: I’d really love to have some more indication on what the real nature of the Upside Down is. So far, the whole thing really has read as if it were D&D come to life, which is cute, but ridiculous. I keep wanting  better explanation, such as that it is an alternate timeline where Something Bad Came To Earth. I just find it hard to believe in a universe where things are built by no one and are always decayed.
In the course of this blog, I have seen a bit of fan speculation that Mike may be (or should be) killed off. I hope not. I think that would be the absolute wrong move. It would feel like a very artificial way to torture El and make her less human. The love story between El and Mike, and its innocence, is the heart and soul of this story. To delay it is certainly legitimate: it has to be laid on the line to make it worth something. To destroy it is to destroy the work.

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 8 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: I really love what they did with Bob’s character in this episode. Here’s a man who has every reason to run from the strange situation he’s been thrust into, to refuse to believe what’s going on, and yet he sticks with it every step of the way. He steps forward to place himself in mortal danger not because he wants to prove himself, but because he knows he’s the only one who can do what needs to be done: resetting the computer system. One of my favorite lines in the series has to be: “Well, teach me BASIC.” “Oh, sure Sheriff. How about I teach you German to go with that. Or French; would you like to learn French?” Likewise, Paul Reiser’s character lays it on the line, becoming a true leader. These guys are men. Real men, who do what real men ought to do.
I love — more than I can say — the fact they did something with the creature’s mind control of Will that is so rarely well done: giving him agency down to the very last, figuring out how to send the coded message to his friends. That kicked ass, being very well-established and reasonable.
And finally, there was the return of El, which was everything it should have been.
The Bad: I really hate what they did with Bob’s character in this episode. First of all, the whole “Somehow, he forgot his gun in the control room” thing was just stupid. Especially given that how he died, that gun would have been 100% useless. It was incredibly predictable that Bob would die, which is the major reason I wish they had not killed him off. Frankly, it felt like they did that just to make Joyce more miserable, and I am really tired of seeing Joyce miserable. It is taking a character who is in many ways admirable, if understandably overbearing and needy (who wouldn’t be?) and hammering her flat by never allowing her a single moment of relief from loss.
Further Questions: How will El close the Gate? And how many more will we lose? And please, please, please, don’t kill El for reals this time.

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 7 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: At the risk of repeating myself, I just want to reaffirm how much I love the way this show is handling its characters. In this episode, we have El, encountering her long-lost sister, Kali (008). And while El is drawn to dreams of revenge, she does not alter her fundamental character to go on a journey through a dark side, which in some ways seems preordained in fiction these days, because nothing can stay pure. Honestly, I’d have preferred that El have articulated it, but it’s quite plain that she, unlike Kali, understands that she must spare, not her torturer’s life, but his daughters’ lives. Their father. Their childhoods. That the cycle of revenge must end.
More than that, Kali does not vow instant revenge on El. Whatever her other faults, Kali and El part on friendly terms, much as they may have chosen different paths. That’s complex and unusual. I admire deeply how this series avoids the easy tropes and answers in favor of the complex.

The Bad: I have little bad to say about this episode. And since writing this post I have discovered that there was enormous pushback against it. I thought it was really well done, and if it was hard to watch, it was because El, who we care about, was being pulled really hard toward making revenge the center of her life.
If I have a criticism, though, it’s in what others have said: the utter lack of backstory for the other members of Kali’s tribe. If they aren’t like Kali and El (Hmmm. Kali-El? Superman?) then what did they have to do with the Hawkins Lab and the people who ran it? Or are we to assume there are several groups of people being avenged upon, here?

Further Questions: Will we see Kali again? And when will El arrive back in Hawkins? Before, or after the Demodogs have had their feast?

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 6 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: Steve really comes into his own here as a leader, even when little is to be gained by it. If there’s something I love about this series, it is its unflagging insistence that no one is disposable. Every bit of struggle against the common enemy is necessary. Every bit of betrayal is wrong. I just about applauded when one of the scientists suggests — from a very sound strategic basis — that they have to burn the infection out, and if it kills Will Byers, then he has to die. And Paul Reiser’s character just fixes him with a stare and says “Say that again.” I was almost expecting the Dr. to show his true, evil colors here. That he did not made me love the series even more.
The only reason anyone in this series is disposable is because they choose to be: to take the side of the evil for their own selfish reasons. Dustin comes perilously close to that, far closer than I think he realizes, by placing Dart’s welfare and his wish to impress Max at a higher level than the welfare of his friends. And Max, I think, sees this, and is quite understandably more attracted to Lucas, who took the chance to tell her the truth, regardless of how stupid it sounded. That Dustin tried to make these two violations of “Law” equivalent, shows that he really doesn’t understand at all.
Also, we finally see Will’s fear realized. Yes, the Thing inside him can spy through him and can compel him, although I really like that it can’t just access his memories, and it doesn’t really seem to have a handle on human behavior.
The Bad: While on some level the Thing would be able to spy through Will, it was awfully predictable that this would happen, and the betrayal is incredibly reminiscent of the fight on C-level in Aliens when most of the Colonial Marines get their faces eaten. If this was intended as homage, it really came off as unimaginative. It’s maddeningly unclear how vulnerable the Demodogs are to gunfire, and it feels very much like they are killed only at the speed of Plot.
Further Questions: Are they all going to die? And where is El??

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 5 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: This episode felt very much like a filler episode for me, but there were some excellent details. I loved seeing how Will grows into, but is also scared of, his role as a spy. Perhaps my favorite bit of this was the idea that Nancy and Jonathan actually discover a halfway sane conspiracy hunter. Yes, he’s obsessed, but he’s not stupid, and he has a scheme to release just enough truth to do the good that needs to be done. Brilliant. Also, I really like that Steve Harrington has not decided to retreat into being any kind of a dipshit, but is growing into a man enough to do what needs to be done, even when there is no real reward for it.
And we finally get our answers for what happened to El’s mother, and it’s heartbreaking. Bob begins to play a very useful role in the series, despite Winona Ryder screaming at him.

The Bad: You know, I have all the sympathy in the world for Will’s Mom, I really do, but I would really love it if she could do something beyond be hysterically shrill most of the time. I still want to kick Dustin’s ass. And the long-unresolved sexual tension between Nancy and Jonathan finally comes to a conclusion, but it’s taken so long that it was almost anticlimactic.

Further Questions: Will Dart’s escape have long-term consequences. Well, duh. Is Will going to die? Be back next episode? He seems to be losing a lot of ground, here.

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 4 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: From the beginning of this episode, what worried me was that Will was going to come back from his (well-meant but) ill-advised attempt to confront the Thing In The Upside Down as completely possessed. The fact that he did not was a great relief. Such a thing, making Will a possessed victim, would have been a bad choice for two reasons: firstly, it would have been far too easy. The possessed child trope has been overdone in horror because it’s a gut-wrenching paradox: the evil that is at the same time innocent. It’s sort of the opposite of the zombie trope: rather than the enemy you get to kill with no moral qualms, it’s an enemy you have to kill despite the moral horror of it. It’s a spiritual hostage crisis.
Secondly, Will’s role in the series up until now has been almost exclusively that of the victim, despite his attempts to survive. Giving “Will the Wise” the agency of spying on this “thing” is a way to make him truly a member of the party rather than its quest, and makes him a better character.
I’m also amazed at the way they handled Nancy and Jonathan’s plan to reveal the truth behind Hawkins Lab’s cover-up of Barb’s death. It’s becoming plainer that Paul Reiser’s character is not a reprise of Burke from Aliens, but rather a sensible man who is being as honest and kind as he can while at the same time being as deceptive and hard-nosed as he needs to be. Most series would portray anyone in government service as being evil by default, but once again, the writers refuse to take the easy way out. I love it.

The Bad: I have to admit that I found it really weird that, given the way Will is talking, his friends and family did not come to the conclusion that heating Will up, with or without his cooperation, would have been a good idea.
Also, Hopper not telling El the whole story about her Mother seemed to me rather gratuitously clueless.
But the worst part of the series is also showing up here because I find Dustin to be uncharacteristically dishonest and clueless about Dart for no real reason other than to build up tension. It’s the sort of cliché the series has done well to avoid: The Protagonist Keeps A Secret He Shouldn’t.

Further Questions: What will El find when she goes to see her mother? What will Nancy and Jonathan do with their knowledge. And most importantly, what is up with Max and her weird brother and why does he think it’s her fault that they are stuck here rather than in CA?

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 3 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: Sigh. This episode, I thought, was about the weakest we’ve seen yet. The only good thing I can find to say about it is that it’s cool that Mom’s Boyfriend, Bob (played by Sean Astin) is actually an okay guy trying to do his best to be something resembling a father figure to his girlfriend’s obviously troubled son. Generally, this is what I like best about the series: I’ve always been a sucker for the ‘Okay, but what would it REALLY be like to be an ordinary person living through this bizarre plot’ stories.

The Bad: Except. Oh, except. This episode is pretty much a classic Idiot Plot. “Look, I found this mysterious thing in the trash like no other creature I’ve ever seen! A year after we did battle with a mysterious creature from The Dimension Of Eeeevils! I’m sure it’s just an undiscovered, COMPLETELY NORMAL species! Which I will now protect and lie to my friends about!” Aaargh.  I mean, yes part of this is understandable because Dustin is about 12 and stupid (but I repeat myself) but really?

Further Questions: The only one is when (not if) keeping Dart will turn out to be a Big Mistake. Oh, and of course what has really happened to Will Byers when the Thing In The Visions grabs him?

Words: Stranger Things 2, Episode 2 Microblog (Much Spoilers, Etc.)

/ G. Scott Huggins / Leave a comment

The Good: I think the thing I really loved about this episode was the humanity of the relationship between Steve and Nancy. It’s a classic case of people being truly out of their depth, and taking it out on one another. The guilt Nancy feels about her role in Barb’s death, having essentially shoved her lonely friend outside to be eaten by the Demogorgon is understandably significant, if misplaced. It’s not, after all, as though she knew (or could have known) that there was a Barb-eating monster around. Barb herself could have saved her life by just getting in her car and going home. But that’s the way people think. It’s tearing her up, and she wants to tell Barb’s parents (who are still looking for their daughter and spending their life savings doing so) the truth.
When she confronts Steve about this, he quite reasonably points out that talking about what they know is likely to a) get them in a lot of trouble with the government and b) not really help, because after all, what are they going to tell Barb’s parents? “We know your daughter’s dead because she was taken into a parallel dimension by a monster we both fought and our psychic friend who disappeared told us she died?” No parent with any sense would believe such a thing.
Factually, Steve is right. Emotionally, he’s completely wrong, but it’s expecting a lot of an 18 year-old to successfully navigate the right response to his traumatized  17 year-old girlfriend, just as it would be asking a lot of Nancy not to blame Steve for his unhelpfulness. Neither of them are bad people, but they are acting in a very human way, which destroys them as a couple when Nancy finally lets the blame out all over herself and Steve.
Also, it was good to get the backstory on how El ended up with Hopper.

The Bad: There wasn’t much bad about this, except for Hopper’s real lack of understanding what he’s doing to El by keeping her in a state of permanent cabin fever. But again, he’s dealing with his own shit, obsessed with saving a girl that he can to make up for the daughter he couldn’t.

Further Questions: Not many in this episode except for what is that thing Will keeps seeing that looks like Great Cthulhu?

The Cloverfield Paradox: A Fisking

/ G. Scott Huggins / 2 Comments

So, I was actually optimistic when I saw the ad during the Super Bowl that Netflix had come out with another Cloverfield sequel. I personally regard the original Cloverfield as the best kaiju movie ever made, and although it was at best tenuously related, liked 10 Cloverfield Lane as well, because it was creepy as hell and John Goodman was the lead, so what’s not to like? The best part was that it left us with the extremely haunting question: what if being trapped by a paranoid survivalist homicidal rapist was only the second-worst thing that could happen to you?

Having been pleasantly surprised by the first two movies, I was hoping to be once again pleasantly surprised. Then I started watching. Five minutes in I wondered how they were going to save it. Five minutes after that, I came to the conclusion they weren’t going to. Five minutes after that, I knew I had to write about this. SO, this is my first ever fisking of a movie as I watch it. If I had the skills and time, I’d do a MST3K send-up, but I can’t, so here goes: a stream-of-consciousness series of my impressions of various “plot” points of the movie.

Premise: “The Earth will run out of “energy” in 5 years.”

Really? The water will all dry up? The wind will stop blowing? The sun will go out? ALL our energy will be gone? What’s that even mean? I suspect they mean oil, which would be bad, because we use that for so much more than energy. But seriously, the world will go back to dirty nuclear fission wholesale before we “run out of” some all-embracing “energy.”

Problem: “The only hope is the Shepard Particle Accelerator, which will solve All The Energy Problems Forevers if it works. But it doesn’t, and the Earth is fighting twenty minor oil wars, and are on the brink of WWIII over power sources.”

Dude, particle accelerators take power to run. They don’t ever give it back. They use up power and they give you data. But we’re doing this experiment up here in space because it’s dangerous. How do we know it’s dangerous?

Foreshadowing: “I’m an author who sounds exactly like L. Ron Hubbard if his cause had been ecologism instead of making up religions and I’m telling you that the Shepard will rip the Space Membrane, fuse dimensions and summon demons.”

Oh, no, they’ll rip the SPACE MEMBRANE!! And summon demons. And it will be horrifying. So… MORE than WWIII over energy between the world’s superpowers? Because, I think I’d honestly take my chances with the demons.

So, of course, we all know that this is exactly what will happen, because book-huckster paranoiac tells us so. That’s as creepy as if old L. Ron really were the Second Coming.

Communications Officer Hamilton (Main Character): “I am so depressed that this isn’t working and miss my husband and child that I am watching videos of that I shall lean against the side of my rotating habitat ring.”

Oh, well that’s… wait. You’re leaning against the side of a rotating deck? That would make it the floor! And, holy shit what is with this station? It’s three habitat rings, all of which spin, and which, themselves, are spinning about a central axis. So, your gravity is going to be varying wildly, all the time.

However, the real problem is, that this is the setup and we’re 30 minutes into the film, and all we’ve had is a montage of failed Shepard Accelerator tests, with all the characters looking more and more emo about it.

“We have a stable beam! It’s working! It’s working! It’s–”
BANG!
(glass shatters, things creak ominously, lights go down and come back up)

“They’re gone!”
“Mission Control?”
“The Earth!”

Crisis: Earth is indeed gone. And just to make sure that is in fact the case, Hamilton, our comm-officer hero decides to call her husband on her cell phone just in case, you know, that works when everything else does not.

At this point, I’m actually glad I’ve got the captions on, because as a bunch of crew are wandering about the station, there is: 

<<Shrieking.>>

Well, if you say so. Sounds like the soundtrack was playing creepy riffs to me.

<<Shrieking Continues.>>

Dude, shrieking never started. The protagonists are literally hearing the soundtrack.

Plot Twist: They rip a panel off the wall and discover a Pale Mystery Woman impaled by a bunch of wires and things. They cut her loose and stabilize her.

In the middle of all this:
Random POV Shift!! We’re now back on Earth with The Husband. Who is a doctor or nurse or EMT or something. Scary Undefined Noises are Happening. That’s it.

Back up in Space
A Startling Discovery Is Made: The gyroscope for the station, which is inexplicably both a) detachable and b) handheld is missing. As are a bunch of worms, which were on the station for no definable reason. This prompts the following line:
“Without the gyro we’re lost.”

WITH the gyro you were lost. The planet you were in low orbit about just vanished.

Bonus point from me, however, for the following exchange:
“We’re not in Kentucky anymore.”
“Kansas.”
“Who gives a shit?”
“People from Kansas.”

General Creepiness: Now we are treated to what are supposed to be establishing shots of foosball players (of course they have foosball in space!) suggesting they are impaled victims, and which then start spinning as if possessed. Also, the Russian crewman is feeling inexplicable pains, and we see a long, eerie shot on a Russian matryoshka nesting doll: symbolism!!

The Plot Thickens: Now creepy possibly-possessed Russian dude has printed himself a gun. All in one piece. Including the magazine. And I guess the bullets, too. That’s amazing: he’s printing propellant AS WELL. But hey, they were 3D printing bagels earlier, maybe we just assume he can print molecules of whatever.

So, the Chinese and German Particle Accelerator specialists are hooked up. She speaks only Chinese. And she calls her boyfriend Schmidt?

Crisis: The Russian dude snaps. Holds gun on the German because he doesn’t like Germans. Then collapses due to Eerie Pain Syndrome.
American Commander’s reaction: “There’s a GUN?! How is there a GUN?!”

It was that easy to print one and you didn’t KNOW? The universe is falling apart around you, but oh, noes, a GUN! What will we DO!

Crisis: Aaaaaand 38 minutes in and they’ve resorted to recreating the chestburster sequence from Alien with the missing worms spraying from Russian dude’s mouth. That is officially the sign that you have created this film without a single original thought in your head. The only way this could be worse is if someone draws a lightsaber.

Plot Twist: Oh, Gods, Schmidt left a message in German saying he’s been sabotaging the whole mission. Said message is unlocked by the commander’s override in about 5 seconds. And then Schmidt claims he’s innocent.

Of course, given the dimension-bending that is happening, I’m sure he’s telling the truth. Which only means that there’s some dimension in which a professional agent is dumb enough to leave messages to his HQ on a server that the mission commander can spy on. I can only presume the same dimension produced the writer of this script.

Plot Twist/Crisis: The wall swallows crew member Mundy’s arm. They pull him out, but his arm is gone. Mysteriously, he feels no pain.
“It’s like he was born this way,” says the doctor, after examining him, as we can all clearly see the cut bone and muscle at the severed end, like an anatomical diagram.

Um, I’m married to a congenital amputee. I can assure you that if I can ever see her severed bone and muscle at the end of her shorter arm, we will both be concerned.

Creepy Plot Twist. They find the arm. Crawling on the deck by its fingers. They rush it to the infirmary. It starts making writing motions. They give it a pen. It tells them to cut the Russian’s body open.

So, there’s another dimension in which Mundy knows everything going on in this dimension and is sending messages to it via his arm that is trapped in this dimension to save the people here because they’ve figured out everything? Including where their dude’s arm went?

And I just noticed that the Chinese officer is wearing Starfleet insignia.

So they cut open the Russian and find… the missing gyro! They can find where they are, now! “It’s Cassiopeia! It’s upside-down! WE’RE upside-down!”

Oh. Gods. Someone who works in SPACE just in all seriousness uttered the line “We’re upside down!” And further USED this to conclude that the station has been moved to 180 degrees around the Earth’s orbit from the Sun. Because THAT logically follows. That makes about as much sense as my wife and I having the following conversation*:

My wife: “My keys aren’t where I left them.”
Me: “CHECK THE REFRIGERATOR!”
*Not an actual conversation in my house

Plot Twist: There’s the Earth, all right! Apparently the Sun has been there the whole time. Not ONE person on the station realized this or has been trained to shoot the stars? Find the plane of the ecliptic? Basic celestial navigation?

Oh, and it’s Earth in Pale Crewmember’s dimension. Where the station broke up and was destroyed.

Wait, then who was controlling that arm? <Drinks>

Back on Earth (the real one):
These interludes seem to serve literally no purpose other than to get a kid in here with the husband, who assures the kid he’s rescued that “good people will get us out of this.”
“We’re gonna need a lot of good people,” says the kid.

And a bigger boat. <Drinks.>

And where the hell did this guy find a fully-stocked bomb shelter? That has cell reception?

The Protagonists’ Plan: They will fire the Accelerator AGAIN. To get them home. Which will obviously work because that’s what got them here!

Sure, because I always say, if you’ve blown yourself up once playing with chemicals you don’t understand, the best thing you can do is re-mix them up and blow yourself up again!

Jensen, the Pale Mysterious Woman who is The Crew From The Other Dimension learns of this and says: “If you succeed, I’ll be trapped in your dimension.”

Um, why? We’ve already taken it on faith that because it got us and you here, it will get us home. Shouldn’t it magically put you back, too? Granted, it took you from a corridor, and embedded you in a wall, so to be safe, we’d better embed you in a wall before we fire this sucker up.

Crisis: The Chinese crewmember is drowning in an airlock! In SPACE! Because moisture ventilation or something! The airlock is jammed and they can’t get her out. The pressure is forcing the outer door open and…

Oh, gods. The water flash-freezes in the airlock because someone thinks SPACE IS COLD!

Commander: “We need to fix the Shepard and get home!”

Thanks, Captain Obvious! That’s been your plan for an hour now.

Here, Pale Crewmember from Other Dimension: have some clothes.

Sorry, they were for plot-relevant characters only.

Plot Twist: Pale Crewmember reveals that Hamilton’s dead children (wait, WHAT??) are still alive in her dimension. Tragic Backstory Plot Coupon!

And before we try to flip ourselves back into our proper dimension, we’re gonna use escape pods to get to a planet that is now 180+ million miles away from a station that all the people in this dimension believe is dead. Good luck with that!

Oh, I can’t take it any more. The station is falling apart. Another crewmember is strangled by possessed pipe-sealing putty (I swear I am not making this plot up!), and they have to jump between parts of the space station to detach the damaged parts in what is obviously a full gee of gravity.

Oh, no. Jensen has the gun. Literally, how does Jensen know about the gun? She was in the infirmary getting wires cut out of her.

The severed arm is bored. It’s drumming its fingers in its cage.

Yay! We get the station home and the POWER SUPPLY WORKS! On the last possible try! It’s working! HU-MANATEE IS SAVEDED!!!
So we’re gonna leave the accelerator unmanned and come home.

Where everyone is dying of kaiju. Because continuity.

The End

<Drinks>